Twenty-Fifth Day

By my calculations – and I believe I am correct – I am 4 days over mid-detention today if they keep me for the entire legal period. It may still be a long wait, but it will never – it cannot – be longer than what I’ve already experienced. Sure, the cumulative effect will make this second semester harder to bear, worn as I am already. But still, knowing even that, the dazzling beam of hope that knocked me back against my bed this morning, when I suddenly realized what day it was, would not be dimmed. For an instant I was there already, I could see the threshold bathing in golden light, I could smell the fresh air outside, I felt a tingle in my limbs, that of freedom, that of infinite movement and long, faraway journeys. I exulted. I leapt from my bed and danced savagely in my narrow cell. I threw myself against the walls, belly first, I raved guttural cries of joy and cried for the first time I’m here. It’s nearly over. Yes, I can see the end, I’m nearly there. It’s over, it’s over already, the end is nigh, yes it is, yes it is!
I sang and yodeled it, and I whisked my prude widowing chair off her slight feet into a passionate waltz. She didn’t really know how to react.
I needed none of their attention. They could all go to hell – what they thought didn’t matter anymore: you can’t prove an innocent guilty and 17 days – yes, 17 days! Hardly over two weeks, ha! – will not suffice them if they haven’t come up with anything in 25 – think about it, that’s 3 weeks and a half! Screw them all, every single one of them! Think what you will, I am free already! Your grip is loosening by the second, there is nothing you can do that will keep me here any longer than 17 miserable little days. I’ve seen worse – I’ve seen 25!
Until this day I was counting my mileage and looking backwards to the hours stretching behind me, watching them grow deeper and darker with increasing fear. From today I am counting down and looking ahead of me. I can feel the hours growing shallow and warm under my fending prow. I am a returning ship and my sails are ablaze. Land is in sight, my course is set, and none of you pirates will detain me in your treacherous waters much longer.

My ruckus must have alarmed a nearby guard – or perhaps someone was watching the CCTV. They came. Two big men flattened me on the floor and I was dragged to a black room the size of a cupboard. I spent all of today there, on the floor. I thought I might be left there for three days or something, but this evening they came to fetch me again. I couldn’t believe my luck. I was escorted back to my cell and sat down.
“M. has testified. You would do better to do the same too.” They bade me goodnight with surreal politeness.

Noi ci allegrammo, e tosto tornò in pianto,
ché de la nova terra un turbo nacque
e percosse del legno il promo canto.
Tre volte il fé girar con tutte l'acque;
a la quarta levar la poppa in suso
e la prora ire in giú, com' altrui piacque,
infin che 'l mar fu sovra noi richiuso.

I cried twice today.